


My Heart in Your Hands

by Fallen_Seraphim



Category: Heneral Luna (2015)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-05-23 22:09:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6131683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fallen_Seraphim/pseuds/Fallen_Seraphim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Separated by tragedy, brought together by fate. </p><p>This is based on the boxer au from twitter. </p><p>TW: for dark themes, violence, mention of drugs and sex. Reader discretion is advised.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Pole dislikes places like these. The narrow alleyways that reek of bodily and industrial waste, the shady characters found in almost every corner hawking all kinds of illegal stuff. Yes, Pole hates it, but tonight, he has no choice but to traverse through hell to offer salvation to a fallen angel.

He laughs at how poetic that sounds.

 

~Flashback~           

 

You what?” Pole almost spat out his water.

“I said…” Goyong huffed, trying to catch his breath.

“Okay, okay Goyong, just calm down before telling us.” Goyong shakes his head and raises his hand gesticulating some weird patterns. Pole looks at Selong who just shrugs.

“Kuya Miong… I saw Kuya Miong. ”

 

~End of Flashback~

 

Pole’s mistake was to ask where Goyong saw Miong, and that led to his curiosity to meet the person that just seemingly disappeared on the face of the earth. And now, a week after the sighting, Pole is making his way through one of Manila’s notorious slums. He had asked for Antonio’s help and they were able to give him two addresses: one was a shanty, and the other, a supposedly abandoned bodega. He first went to the shanty and was received coldly by a lady. The lady denied knowing Miong, but Pole had already seen traces of Miong in the house: the duffel bag Miong owns, a pair of sneakers from Miong’s favorite brand, too expensive for someone living in the slums. And a picture. With the lady. He excused himself and proceeded to the bodega, praying to whoever listens in heaven that he’s thoughts are mistaken.

Turns out, he’s right.

 

A beefy man acts as sentry by the door. Pole’s sure he would be denied entrance, he looks too respectable to be in a place like this, but then, he’d already anticipated this. Stopping a block away, he now waits for his contact to arrive.

 

“Pole. Long time no see. What brings you to the underworld?”

“Macs.” Pole smiles, shaking hands with the man.

“Is it true?” he asks as they make their way to the entrance. Macs just nods at the guard and they’re in.

“Miong? Uh huh.” Pole sighed.

“Why didn’t you tell us.”

“He asked me not to. Besides…” Macs lights a cigarette and takes one long drag.

“I don’t think he wants to see you.”

 

~o~

Miong can hear the crowd roaring outside and he tries to focus on wrapping his right hand. A door opens and the cheering got louder for a moment. Miong looks up to see Macario Sakay lean against the closed door.

 

“How’s the champ?” Macs grins.

“What’re you doing here?” he replied coldly. He never liked Macs. Guy is shady as fuck and he never even tries to hide it.

“This is one special fight, huh.” Macs’ grinn got wider, Miong has a feeling that the burly man is hiding something from him but coaxing it out will not work. Not with guys like Macs.

“What’s it to you?” Macs shrugged.

“Special fight, that’s all I’m saying.” Macs put up both hands in feigned innocence then walked out the door, that silly grin still plastered on his face. Miong wanted to give him a left but he was too late.

 

Even through the closed doors, he could hear the cheers grow louder as the announcement for the main fight arrives. Miong heard his name and he took several deep breaths. The door opens, the din is deafening. Miong stands up .

 

~o~

 

Unlike traditional boxing matches, these informal, illegal fights are more, shall we say, primal? Fighters are only allowed to wrap their hands. No gloves, to protective equipments. No holds barred. A match lasts twelve rounds, and most of the time extends even at the street after the fights. The rules are simple: beat the hell out of your opponent. There are no divisions, you fight whoever is pitted against you and you don’t complain. Complaints are for weaklings, real men bite their tongue and fight. It looks more like a MMA fight than boxing, but hey, who cares?

 

Miong is the current defending champion, and half of tonight’s spectators adore him, the other half wants to kill him. And he doesn’t care, the only thing that matters to him is that he’s beating someone senseless, that he’s receiving blows that confirms his existence. He’s already into the middle of the fourth round when his peripheral vision caught sight of the impossible: a wheelchair-bound man sitting in the middle row.

 

‘It can’t be’ he thinks. A miscalculation.

 

Miong feels a fist connect with his jaw. His brain shakes inside his skull as his nerve endings send signs of pain that was miraculously still processed by his brain. Staggering a few paces back, Miong wiped the trickle of blood from his lips and spat the remaining on the cold floor. He feels his blood boil in his veins, anger rising up like steam.

He’s not angry at his opponent.

He’s angry because Pole’s here.

His opponent grins at him, he grins back, teeth red with blood. His opponent lunges at him, he sidesteps and buries his elbow into the man’s back. He walks away slowly as his opponent struggles up.

‘Sorry pal, it’s nothing personal’ he thought.

~o~

 

Pole sits in the middle of a crazed crowd, people egging the fighters on, some of them exchanging bets, others are just spewing out obscenities. Pole does not mind them, his eyes are with the fighters in the ring. His knuckles are white as he clutches at the blanket on his lap. Seeing Miong fight like an animal is absurd. If Goyong had told him this, he wouldn’t have believed it. But he’s here, he’s seeing it.

 

And Miong in turn, saw him. He’s sure of it.

The fight continues. He’s learned from Macs that a fight will only be stopped after the twelfth round, or when the opponent is knocked out. Or worse, dead.

 

And now, Miong looks like he’s about to kill his opponent. After that jab with his elbow, Miong plays with his opponent, like a cat toying with a mouse. Pole knows this to be Miong’s style. He will find a way to lure his opponent into frustration before letting out the punches. But this time, Miong is different. He can see the glint of something dangerous flicker in Miong’s eyes each time he inflicts pain on his opponent. There is madness in them, and he watched as Miong finally cornered his opponent: blinded by rage, the other caould only think of offense, and Miong loves it like that. Shrieks ring as Miong was caught by the neck, but Pole knows better. Each move is calculated. Miong wanted to be captured. True enough, before his opponent can land a hit, Miong thrust his knee hard against his opponent’s midsection, causing the hand on his neck to slacken. Miong flashes an almost devilish grin as he shoves his opponent to the floor, flipping him face up and descending blows one after another.

 

Pole watches, his grip on his blanket tightening. He likes to tell imself that it’s not Miong he’s seeing. Goyong made a mistake and he’s just wasting his time in this shithole. Miong is not here, the man who is steps away from murder is not Miong. It can never be Miong.

Then he sees the scar.

 

“Oh my God.” He hisses under his breath.

 

Miong has his back to him and so he sees his shoulder blades, and the ugly lump of scar tissue running along Miong’s left shoulder. Pole feels vertigo settle in. The noise is too much, he feels like he’s going to pass out.

 

“Here.”

 

Pole feels something cold against his forehead and his world shuffled to focus. He looks beside him to see Andoy squeezing himself into the throng. Pole thanks him and opens the canned soda.

“Macs told me you’ll be here. I didn’t believe him.” Pole let out a dry laugh.

“I can’t believe it’s him.” Was all he could say. Andoy nodded.

“No one’s ever beaten him. Why are you here, anyway? This is no casual visit.”

“I…” Pole began.

“You want to bring him back. Take him out of here.” Andoy finished the sentence for him.

“Well, good luck with that. Let’s get you to the changing rooms, it’s more humane there.”

 

Pole thanked Andoy for the save and he let the man wheel him away from the mess.

 

~o~

 

Miong pummels his fist against his downed opponent, something not acceptable in normal boxing. But this is not normal boxing, and he’s no longer a professional boxer. He continues the assault, but stops when his opponent’s knee hit the base of his skull. Miong lets out a curse and stands up, even with a spinning head, he still moves better than his opponent and manges to take the upper hand again. He takes a glance at the seats and find one empty. Pole has gone. He proceeds to kick at his opponent.

 

~o~

 

Andoy intercepts Miong on his way out of the ring. Miong sees the disapproving look on Andoy’s face and he knew, he went too far.

 

“What’s the damage?” Miong asks, rubbing the back of his head.

“I don’t even know. I’ll go to the hospital tomorrow. With luck, he’ll live.” Andoy says reproachfully.

“Hey, Andoy, wait.” He grabs at Andoy’s arm.

“Get my winnings and give it to the man’s family for their needs. And if the hospital can’t handle the injuries, transfer them to Kuya’s hospital.”

“Miong, what made you lose control like that?!” Miong looks at the floor.

“Shit. Of course it’s Pole.”

“He’s here, isn’t he?” Andoy nodded.

“Waiting for you inside the changing rooms. And…” Andoy grabs him when he tries to walk away.

“Talk this out with him Miong. Even just for tonight. You owe that to the man you just nearly killed.”

 

Ah, Andoy and his words… Miong sullenly obeys. The makes his way to the miraculously empty hall to the changing room, he suspects Macs to be behind this and just shakes his head. He opens the door and…

 

“Pole…” it sounded more like a squeak.

 

Pole hears the door open and turns to face Miong. He tries to smile but his lips are still shaking as he see Miong, bruised and a little bloody.

 

“What are you doing here?” A greeting. Silence.

“I’m not going back if that’s what you want. I’m quite okay here, thank you very much.” He proceeds to unwrap the bandages that are already hanging loosely from his hands.

“I just want to see you. Why didn’t you tell us you’re back? Where’ve you been?” Miong huffs.

“Miong…” Pole wheels close to him, places a hand on top of the bandages and slowly takes it from him, unwinding it.

“You didn’t tie it properly again.” Pole scolds him, but he’s smiling and some color has gone back to his face. Miong flinches and wrestles his hand out of Pole’s grasp.

“Miong, come back.” Pole says, almost pleads.

“Miong!!!”

 

 

Just then the door opens and in rushes the lady Pole met back in the little house. She did not pay attention to him and instead ran towards Miong.

 

“Are you okay? Oh my God, are you hurt?” she fusses over him, a towel in hand wiping away blood and sweat from Miong’s face.

“I’m okay, nothing serious. Come here…” Miong grins and pulls her to his lap. The woman giggles.

“Miong! Miong, stop it! Someone else is here!” the woman scolds, but does nothing to stop Miong as he kisses her neck.

“Pole is just on his way out.” He stops, gives Pole a smirk.

 

Pole feels his cheeks flush, both with embarrassment and anger. Without another word, he wheels out of the room, not sparing a look back at the lovers behind him.

 

~o~

 

“How’d it go?”

 

Selong asks as they prepared for bed. Pole had been silent when he came back from investigating Miong and Selong knows better than to forcefully ask the truth out of his partner. He waits if Pole will respond, and if not, he’s going to leave it at that.

 

“Bad.”

“Will you try and go back there again?” Pole shakes his head.

“Give it time, dear. Both of you went through hell. You just can’t expect him to dcome out of it.”

Pole nods. Selong flicks the light switch off and lays beside him. Pole feels Selong’s arm around him. For so long, he had felt secured being in Selong’s embrace, but tonight, he just feels trapped. And everytime he closes his eyes, it’s Miong’s bloodied face he sees.

 

~o~

 

The room smells of drugs and sex, and in the narrow bed, Miong lays with the woman. He has a lighted cigarette in one hand while the other plays with the woman’s hair. He’s mind is somewhere. Addled by the drugs, he sees himself back in the days where he’s still one fo the country’s up and coming boxing superstar. He sees himself training with Selong, practicing with Goyong and Rusca’s pack. He remembers Pole, how Pole wraps his hand before matches, and how they spend his victory by making out in the locker area. And then the tragedy happened.

 

“Shit.” He pounds the cigarette right onto the wooden table top and nuzzles his lover awake.

 

The woman giggles under him as he mounts her, his thrusts are long and hard, hoping insane sex can drive away the nightmares that have found him at last.


	2. Chapter 2

                                _“Hey, shorty! Where do you think you’re going?”_

_His ears become red as he hears the jeering voices behind him. He tries to ignore it, his pace quickens into a jog as footsteps approach. But his pursuers are faster, he feels a sharp yank from behind as one of them caught the collar of his school uniform. He feels the hardness of the asphalt on his backside, hears the laughter of the pack that has now surrounded him. He waits for the blows that are sure to follow._

_The scene shifts and he finds himself shyly peeking into a noisy gym. He withdraws and leans against the wall, eyes on his rubber shoes. He feels so unsure about himself. He hears a bell and peeks again. The sparring partners inside the ring gave each other a fist bump before resuming their fight. Miong gulps and backs away._

_“Miong! I’m so glad you made it!” the voice startles him, his heart racing madly in his chest._

_Again, his surrounding changes. He finds himself absorbed in wrapping his right hand, and getting annoyed at how it always slips._

_“Here, let me…”_

_He sees his hand being held, his eyes seem to be mesmerized as the cloth slowly, expertly winds around his hand and wrist._

_“Nervous?” he shakes his head, praying to God the other man believes it._

_“Don’t worry, you’ll do fine.” A smile_

_And he sees it, the twirling of bandages, and at each turn he sees a part of his life unfold. Each turn has a different scene, but there’s one that never changes, the one where his hands are being cradled as the bandages wrap around them. He watches it over and over, until he grips the hand and brings it close to his lips and kisses it._

_Then he feels his body lurch, a sharp pain ringing in his skull as his head hit the cement. He feels the gush of cold sticky liquid. There are voices, loud voices but he can’t understand what they’re saying. But he knows well enough that the situation is bad, his aching shoulders and tied hands are the first indication. He fights to stay awake, he has to… for him._

_His vision is still a bit blurred as he staggers to get up, winces as every inch of his body screams in pain. He silently orders his aching muscles to yield, to give the last amount of energy for a spurt forward, towards the limp body a few feet from him. His legs give in. He runs, using his body to break against the circle of men. But then he sees the gleam of silver…_

_“I’m sorry…” he mutters as he feels the blade sink deep into his skin._

                He wakes up with a start, kicking at the arm rest of the battered couch. His breath comes in ragged pants, his body drenched in sweat and heavy from the weight of the woman on top of him. He lets out a curse as he gropes the table for a foil and some left over powder from last night’s session and finds none. He pushes the woman off him, but makes the mistake of sliding too close to the edge of the couch that he falls to the floor.

                                “Shit.”

                He tries to remember if he still has some stash left but then last night was the last. He’s supposed to buy some after his fight but since he gave away his prize money… He kicks a table leg in frustration. He calls the woman but the only reply was a short snore. He stands up and looks at her, or rather, her naked body. He likes her, likes how much she gives in to his touch and since there’s no drug left, he’ll just go for an alternative high.  He goes on top of her, a hand immediately going south, fingers delving deep into the woman’s folds.

                                “Miong—stop!” The woman grumbles, her hands pushing his head off her breast.

                                “Haven’t you had enough last night? Stop!” she kicks him hard on his side and he stands up, grabs a towel and heads to the bathroom.

                Inside the narrow cubicle, he opens that tap and let water fall into the basin. He takes the dipper and pours water above his head in an attempt to sober up from the alcohol and drugs, and maybe even forget that damn nightmare that woke him up. He curses again as he realizes he forgets to bring a shampoo with him. No matter, the soap will do. He’s finished with his hair and is now running the bar across his chest, then to his shoulders, when his fingertips touch the scar. He stops.

 

                                _“I’m sorry…” the dream-memory flashes back in his mind._

                                “Fuck.” He said as he doused himself with water.

~o~

                Selong closes the door to his SUV and turns to Pole with a worried look. The paralytic smiles at him in turn, trying to reassure his partner.

                                “You know I can just cancel right? Catch a later flight” Selong finally says, walking over the wheelchair and kneeling in front of Pole.

                                “No, I’m going to be okay, it’s just a simple flu. Besides, if I need anything, I got Goyong and Cayo on speed dial.”

                                “And me?” Pole laughs.

                                “You’re not included. You have to focus on your work.”

                                “What work? It’s just a fight, and I’ve done those over and over again. I can just stay here  until Mr. Grumpy gets well.” they both laugh. Pole holds Selong’s hand.

                                “Be careful, okay?”

                                “I will. I’ll miss you.” He pulls Pole close and kisses him.

                                “I love you.” He smiles when they break apart.

                                “I love you too.”  Again, a kiss.

                                “Don’t forget your medicine. I’ll call you when I arrive at the hotel.” Selong says as he board the SUV.

                                “Take care, drive safe.”Pole waves.

                He watches as the car goes out of the driveway. He pushed the remote to close the gate and wheels himself inside. He picks up the broadsheet Selong had brought in but not read. He opens each section, giving the articles passing glances, only reading the ones that interest him. And then the sports section. He stops. The feature photograph is one thing, it shows Andoy  in the middle of a crowd of little children. The article talks about the retired boxing champion opening up his gyms in slum areas to teach out of school youth and under privileged children boxing. But what really made him stop was the insert photo near the end of the article. It show a blurry picture of one of the class, and on the upper right corner, partially obscured by a student, he’s sure that he’s looking at a candid shot of Miong.

 

                                “Your hair. No matter how much  you hide, your hair will always betray you.” He laughs, a finger tracing the photograph.

 

                He checks to see if there’s an address, but then again, Macs is only a phone call away and if someone knows where Andoy is, it will be Macs. About thirty minutes later, he finally proceeds to the dining room. But his appetite is gone now and he just stares at his food.

 

                                “Sir, is anything wrong?” Cayo, asks.

                                “No Cayo. Can you just prepare the files I need for the hearing next month?” his assistant frowns.

                                “Sir Marcelo wouldn’t like that. He doesn’t want you to tire yourself.” Poole winces.

                                “What did he bribe you to be on his side?”  Cayo laughs.

                                “We’re just concerned with your health, sir, much more is Sir Marcelo. He was actually arguing with his coach about delaying the flight. I overheard him this morning.” Pole was taken aback by this, then he smiles, feeling the heartwarming concern of his partner.

~o~

                                “You’re early today.” Andoy remarks as he sees Miong already mopping the floor.

                                “And can you just stop doing that? The maintenance guys are complaining that they no longer have anything to clean in this place!”

                                “Well, tell that to your wife as well. She came here to arrange the gloves and did some sweeping after she dropped off EJ.” Miong shrugs. Andoy holds up both hands in surrender.

                                “Training today? Let me tell you though, I heard no one wants to fight you after what happened last time.”

                                “No. It’s just…”

                                “Bad dream?”

                Miong curses under his breath, curses Andoy’s perceptiveness.

                                “I told you to stop using drugs. I swear I’ll have Macs rat you to the cops if you go too far. It’s not solving anything.”

                                “Well, neither does talking.” Miong mumbles.

                                “Did you? You weren’t in five minutes when I saw Pole out again.”

 

                Andoy waits for a reply but Miong stays silent. Defeated, Andoy just shakes his head as Miong continues to mop the floor. Andoy watches him, his face showing concern, but then, he can’t offer unwanted help. Also, he’s thinking about the phone call he received this morning, and thus, reminding himself to give Macs a whack in the head next time they meet.

 

                                “I’m going.” Miong says, dragging the mop with him.

                                “Miong…” Andoy stops, considering his next words.

                                “You’re still together with that girl, right? I think it’s better if you split up with her, seeing you’re not serious with the relationship.” Miong scoffs.

                                “I’m serious.”

                                “In fucking her.” Andoy mutters, Miong grins at him.

                                “You’re not serious enough to risk your life for her.” Andoy calls as Miong closes the door.

~o~

_If anyone asks, Andres Bonifacio has very little cause to hate Emilio Aguinaldo. He has heard of the famous young boxer andhas grown to respect the latter’s talent. He has never really followed the young man’s career and achievements, being busy with his own fights and starting his little family. The only time he paid attention to the young Aguinaldo was before that fight._

_~o~_

                Andoy shakes his head so as to free himself from the memories. That was a good five years ago and he shouldn’t be remembering it now. But the drive to the Del Pilar house is slow, and even if his motorcycle can cut through lines, he doesn’t really take that advantage to full use. He asks himself why he chose this day to set up his meeting with Pole when he could have just went there right after their conversation. Now, waiting for the weekend didn’t seem to be such a good idea. He strains his neck, trying to see the cause of the build up when a vendor happens to pass by him.

                                “Hey, do you know the reason behind this?”

                                “An accident.” The vendor replies.

                                “I know.”

 

                The vendor walks away leaving Andoy almost numb, as he remembers five years ago.

                                ‘No…’ his brain countered, thinking about the vendor’s words.

                                ‘You don’t know…’

~o~

                                “You don’t look well.” Pole remarks as he escorts Andoy to the living room.

                                “Just tired, I guess, there’s an accident earlier and…” Andoy stops, bites his lip.

                                “And you? You’re pale. Are you sick? Where’s Selong?”

                                “Out of town.” Andoy winced.

                                “And he left you here alone?!”                 

“He really didn’t want to go, but I insisted. Besides, I have Cayo here with me. ”

                As if summoned, Pole’s staff appeared, with a tray of refreshment. Andoy chose a can of soda while Pole had his usual glass of milk. For some time, the topic of their conversation covered various topics: Pole’s health, the cases he’s handling, Andoy’s family, Macs, until Andoy notices a framed photograph at the far end of the room.

                                “So, no plans of getting married yet? How long have you and Selong been together? Three years?”

                                “Four. And no, there are no plans, though Selong’s been dropping hints from time to time.” Pole laughs

                                “I guess he’s looking for an opportune moment. But he’s been wanting to migrate, so I guess we’ll fly out of the country if we do get married.”

                                “I see.” Even though in his mind, Andoy’s still having a hard time processing the information.

                                “Miong---“ they gave each other a startled look after they blurted out the name at the same time. Andoy chuckled and let Pole go first. He pushed a newspaper clipping across the table.

                                “I saw this article. It’s nice of you to reach out to the underprivileged, even going as far as starting a gym in slum areas.” Andoy shrugs

                                “Those kids need something to distract them so they won’t turn to the streets and to illegal activities. Those gyms  are nothing special really, I just want people who love the sport to have their own place. I know my gyms in the business districts and malls will not be affordable to everyone, and I doubt those elitist and yuppies would want “commoners” to mingle with them. So I compromised.” Andoy shrugs.

                                “Wow, just a little more and people will be pushing you to run for a government post.”

                                “They already are. I gave way by running as barangay captain and not they want be as councilor. “

                                “Give it time, and who knows, maybe you’ll even get to the nationals.” Andoy shivers, making Pole laugh.               

                                “I also noticed something in the article. Look at that picture, the one with the students practicing. Is that Miong, hiding?” Andoy raises the picture to scrutinize it, with narrow eyes, he checks the picture for about  a full minute before giving his assent.

                                “Yes. There’s no mistake with the hair.” He says, putting the paper down.

                                “Is he part of your staff? Or is he training at that particular branch?”

                                “No. I just dragged him there since some of my staff had cancelled. I let him use the facilities of the flagship store, which is closest to his condo, where most patrons are expats, stars, executives. The higher the status, the more snobbish they are, thus, lesser questions. But Miong usually leaves before the gym opens, just to be safe. But now, since I am opening a branch near the bodega where he fights, he’s transferred there.” Pole nods.

                                “Is he well?” Andoy considers telling Pole about Miong’s substance abuse but bites his tongue and nods instead.

                                “That’s good to hear. And his lady friend…” A wince from the retired boxer.

                                “I know their relationship, I just want to know more about them, about Miong. That thing between Miong and me is history.” Andoy doubts it, but continues.

                                “You really want to hear it?”  a nod.

                                “They met t a local beer house where she happens to be spending the night with some friends. Miong  is just new then, he didn’t even have a place to stay. He was  planning to have a few drinks and ride a bus to God knows where when they caught each other’s eye and she motioned for him to join their table. Long story short, after several drinks, they ended up at her place and what’s supposed to be a one night stand has now been going on for half a year.” Silence, neither of them spoke for a while.

                                “Where does Miong work?”

                                “He doesn’t. Well, if you call his fights work, then so be it. But if you’re referring to a regular 8-hour job, no…”

                                “…they both live on the money being sent by the woman’s common law husband who left for Dubai before they began their relationship.” Pole gapes at him.

                                “Does Miong know?” Andoy nods.

                                “And one other thing…” Andoy stops, weighing the betrayal he’s about to do, but Pole has to know. If there’s someone who can pull Miong out of the pit, he believes it’s Pole.

                                “He’s become quite dependent on drugs lately. I’ve been trying to tell him off, but you know Miong.” He stops, looks at Pole’s face and finds it devoid of color.

                                “I’m sorry.” Andoy muttered.

~o~

                                “Hm? Yeah, yeah…” Pole answers absent mindedly as Selong enthusiastically relates what happened to him.      

                                “Are you okay, love? How’s your flu?” this seem to break Pole’s trance.

                                “Oh? Yeah, I’m okay. Still a bit light-headed, but generally, I’m fine. No need to worry.” There’s a pause and Pole imagines Selong to be frowning.

                                “Stop worrying.” He chuckles.

                                “I’m fine. You focus instead on your training.” He hears Selong protest.

                                “Ah, no buts! You can call me anytime you want but you have to stick with your training schedule, okay?” he hears Selong laugh from the other line.

                                “Yes sir!”

                                “Good boy.”

                                “I must be keeping you up, love. I’m hanging up. Love you.”

                                “I love you too.”

 

                The call ends and Pole is about to return his mobile phone to its place on the bedside table when he recalls Andoy’s revelation. He looks at the phone in his hand and without thinking, started dialing a number from memory. It’s a long shot, because the last time he reached that number, he had been running under a thick curtain of rain. He was running, he still had the use of both of his legs. A hand unconsciously smoothens out the blanket over his paralyzed lower limbs. Ah, how things change. There, it’s ringing, and Pole’s heartbeat quickened. Will there be an answer? Will he pick up?

 

                                “Pole?”

~o~

                Miong is ready to call it a day. He’s already in bed, an arm wrapped around his girlfriend’s waist. He’s about to doze off when he hears the muffled sound of a phone ringing. It takes around three rings when he recognizes the ringtone.

 

                                “What is it?” the woman asks sleepily as she feels the bed shift and Miong get up.

                                “Miong?”

 

                He waves a hand to dismiss his girlfriend’s words and walks to his duffel bag. Opening a secret pocket inside, he pulls out an outdated iphone with a broken lcd display. He stares at the unregistered number, his heart beating fast.

                                “Pole?”

~o~

                                “Hello, Miong?” Pole speaks, trying to maintain  an even tone.

                                “I hope I didn’t interrupt something.” Miong huffs on the other line.

                                “Listen, can we talk? I want to talk to you, alone.” Pole clenches and unclenches his fist, crumpling his blanket.

~o~

                Miong kicks at some loose stone at his feet while considering Pole’s request. A part of him want to run straight to the other man, but another, the one that got stabbed five years ago, refuses.

 

                                “We don’t have anything to talk about.”

                                “Miong.”

 

                His world stopped after hearing that firm, commanding tone he’s grown to know and (once?) love.

                                “Tomorrow. At the Mc Donald’s branch near the university. You still remember that, don’t you?” Miong digs his nails into his palm, trying not to give in.

                                “Miong.”

                                “Yeah.” He grunts

                                “I’ll see you there.”

                He hears a click and the call ends, no goodbyes, no warning, just like that Pole hangs up. He stares at the iphone and at the smashed screen wondering why he’s keeping it.  He goes back inside, back to the bed where his girlfriend looks at him quizzically. He says nothing, but hugs her the moment his body touched the mattress.

                                “Is there something wrong? Who was that?” she asked.

                There is no reply. Instead, he pulls her closer, burying his face at the crook of her neck, his frame shaking as he tries to fight off the flood of emotions threatening to burst.

 

                                “Just hold me.” He says finally.

~o~

                Pole feels so out place as he wheels himself to a seat near the glass panels of the fast food chain. He thanks the crew member who places the tray of food in front of him and sets on to wait for Miong. He looks at his wristwatch, marks the time, before placing a tablet pc beside his tray and opening some case documents. He knows he will be waiting for hours so he prepared something for his waiting game.

 

                Hidden in the shadows of an alleyway, eyes stare at Pole’s figure as he eats. Miong watches while an internal battle is going on. Should he go to Pole or just turn back? If he will be true to himself, he wants to run to where Pole is, apologize, and try to win him back, bring the old days. But then he sees how Pole is now forever bound to a wheelchair, he just feels repulsion seep in his veins. And he holds firm. He turns to leave, but notices the Pole’s van.

~o~

                Goyong squeezes the mouse a bit too hard as he prepares to make his avatar deliver an attack. He’s too engrossed in the battle that he ignores the shadow that partially obscured the light from the already dimly-lit computer shop.

                                “What are you doing here?” a voice asks. Goyong hisses.

                                “I’m not a minor so go away, I’m busy.”

                                “I can see that. But what are you doing here and why did you leave Pole alone back there?”

 

                Goyong jumps a few centimeters off his seat as he finally recognizes the voice. He would have jumped on Miong if space provided, but he just contented himself with roughly shaking the other’s hand.

 

                                “Kuya Miong! What are you doing here?!”

 

                The two of them leave the computer shop and Miong leads them to a kwek kwek cart nearby.

 

                                “How’s Pole?” he asks, watching Goyong gobble down his snack.

                                “He’s fine. He’s waiting for…” Goyong stops in mid bite, eyes almost bulging out of their socket.

                                “Shit, is he waiting for you there?! What the fuck are we doing here?! Come on!!” Goyong grabs Miong by the arm and starts pulling, the other doesn’t budge.

                                “You don’t want to see hin?” Goyong looks hurt, and it pains Miong to see it.

                                “Just tell me, how he’s doing.”

                                “Kuya Miong, you don’t know how much he wanted to talk to you then! Wouldn’t you go to him now? You two have so much to discuss! He---“ Miong cuts him off with a gesture.

                                “We don’t have anything to discuss. Just tell me what I need to know.”

                                “Why do you hate Kuya Pole when he’s the one who went to save you that night?” He could hear the venom in Goyong’s voice and it hurts him. But Goyong would not understand so he keeps silent.

                                “Goyong…” he looks at the young man, sees the fire in his eyes.

                                ‘Great, yes, hate me too. That way I can live easier.’

                                “You know what? Tito Selong was right about you, you’re a selfish bastard. You don’t deserve Kuya Pole at all! You’re the one who dragged him into your mess and yet you act all high and mighty, thinking the world is against you. You may have nearly died that night, but it was Kuya Pole who lost everything. He tried to talk to you even though he’s still weak, he reached out to you even though you kept on pushing him away, and now, he’s being nice and all and you’re here asking me questions you should be asking him!”

 

                Miong clenches his fists, trying so hard to control the anger rising in him, controlling the impulse to beat up the young man right then and there. No, Goyong doesn’t know the whole story, that’s why he’s acting like this. He must understand. This is the price he has to pay for choosing to walk away after the events of that night. He confronts Goyong’s eyes with his own piercing gaze.

 

                                “Okay, fine…” Goyong softens up, shaking his head. Miong relaxes a little.

                                “Kuya Pole is fine. He has a lot of cases, but Cayo’s there to help him. Also…” Miong sees the young man flash a knowing grin at him, his eyes sparkling with malice.

                                “He’s living with us now, with Tito Selong and me. They’ve been together for years. Actually, Tito Selong will propose soon. And then, he’ll take Kuya Pole to Madrid, away from people like  you.”

                                “Surprised?” Miong tensed. Yes, Goyong’s words surprised him, and his reaction might have been to obvious for Goyong threw him a smirk.

                                “Maybe that’s what he’s about to tell you. That he has moved on and will soon be out of your life so you can enjoy your misery alone.” Before Miong could retort, Goyong broke into a run. Knowing that it’s futile, he let the young man go and he decides to go elsewhere.

~o~

                Pole couldn’t sleep. He’s feeling agitated at how the day turned. When Goyong came up to him, flushed from apparently running a marathon, he knew something was up. He tried to coax the truth out of the young man until the boy gave in: he met Miong, told him things, and then ran away. He sighs, that’s not how he planned things. He’s contemplating on calling Selong when his phone started ringing. He stares at the number, debating whether or not to answer. He slides a thumb across the screen.

 

                                “So, it’s Selong, huh.” The voice on he other line sounds distant, slurred even.

                                “Miong, are you drunk?”

                                “Tell me, why that man? Of all the people in the world, why him?” he could sense the bitterness in Miong’s voice, but he doesn’t know how to answer.

                                “Never mind.” Miong hangs up.

 

                Pole knows when Miong is bound to do stupid things, and tonight, there is a high chance of Miong just doing the stupidest of all things. He wants to go and find him, but where? He searches his brain for any clue and it touches on his conversation with Andoy: the gym.

 

~o~

 

                There’s no fight for him tonight. No one wants to take on Miong anymore, and so he pours all his hate on the suspended bags around the gym. He didn’t bother wrapping his hands, his knuckles can all break and he wouldn’t care less.

 

                                “Miong!”

 

                At first he thought it was a hallucination, but the sound of wheels convinced him otherwise. He sees Pole advance towards him, he stands still, waiting, unsure of what to do. Pole stops in front of him, his eyes reproachful. Then Pole extends a hand,  gingerly closes it around Miong’s bruised and bleeding hand. His muscles clench, but he doesn’t pull away.

 Pole raises the hand to his lips and kisses it, just like how Miong does every time he wraps his hands before. He looks up at him.

 

                “I’m sorry.” He whispers.

 

                Miong breaks down at hearing those words, he falls to his knees and in turn holds Pole’s hands.

 

                                “No, It’s me, it’s all my fault. I’m so sorry Pole. I really am.” Pole smiles, shushing him.

                                “It’s okay. I don’t hate you.”

 

                That’s when their eyes met, and before they knew it, Miong had grabbed Pole by the neck and pulled him for a kiss, his mouth hungry and insistent, his tongue forcing its way into Pole’s mouth.  Pole closes his eyes and gives in, he lets Miong taste the inside of his mouth, lets the battered hand slip under his shirt and touch him. He moans. Miong breaks the kiss, and he lifts up Pole from his wheelchair and he makes his way to the still unfinished boxing ring, feeling thankful that Andoy’s workers haven’t completed it yet. He gently lays Pole down, but this action contrasts the searing kiss he delivers afterwards, while his other hand maneuvers his hardened cock out of his pants. Pole feels himself harden as well and he fumbles against his pants to free his member. He gasps as he feels the cold air, making his member twitch.

 

                                “I missed this.” Miong growls as he grabbed both of their dicks, stimulating them with his hand. Polle whines against him.

                                “I missed you.”  He breathes against Pole’s shoulder before biting down hard, eliciting a sharp cry of mixed pleasure and pain from Pole. Just then, a loud mechanical sound came. From Pole’s pocket.

 

                Miong  dips his hand into Pole’s pocket, fishing out the other’s phone, he smirks as he sees he caller ID. He leans down and whispers into Pole’s ear.

 

                                “It’s Selong.”

                Before Pole could react, Miong hit the “answer button and gave it to Pole. Pole glares at him but accepts it. Meanwhile, Miong’s hand quickens its pace.

 

                                “Love?” Selong’s voice from the other line.”      

                                “Y-yes?” Pole stammers, controlling the urge to moan.

                                “Are you okay? You don’t sound so good. How’s your flu?”

                                “It’s…” he gasps inaudibly as he feels his dick twitch. Miong smirks, leans over and licks the column of his neck.

                                “Ah… I’m, fine… It’s just, the cold… I-“ he hits Miong’s head with his other hand as Miong starts to bite him.

                                “it’s pretty bad.”

                                “Oh, is that it? Okay, I won’t be disturbing you. Please take a good care of yourself.”

                                “I love you.”  Selong says.

                                “I-“ Pole grasps Miong’s hair to pull it closer against his chest as Miong nibbles at an erect nipple.

                                “I love you.”

 

                Pole ends the call, throws his phone aside and hit’s Miong again.

 

                                “Bastard.” Miong smirks and silences him with a kiss as they both reach their climax.

~o~

                Miong  breathlessly slumps on top of his lover and Pole puts his arm around him, pressing their bodies closer, basking the heat they both share. Miong raises his head and kisses him, gently, lazily, and he returns each kiss.  When they break free, Miong traces ha hand across Pole’s face, stopping at his lips where Pole kisses the pad of his finger, they smile at each other. Miong then lifts him up, making Pole thinks he’ll bring him back to the wheelchair but Miong lays down again, cradling Pole’s body against him, arms wrapped  around the slender frame, tight enough for Pole to hear Miong’s heartbeat. Pole places a hand over Miong’s chest, wantingto feel the steady rhythm.

                                “This is bad…” Miong breathes as they slowly climb down from euphoria.

                                “Pole, I’m so sorry, I didn’t…” Pole shakes his head.

                                “It’s my fault as well. I shouldn’t have let you do this.”

                It was only then that Miong noticed the unusual heat emanating from Pole’s body, and the slight shiver that occasionally runs through Pole’s body. He remembers how sickly Pole used to be, and…

 

                                “Shit! Are you sick?!” Miong blurts out, surprising Pole.

                                “Just a flu, nothing to worry about.” Pole smiles, knowing that lying will have no effect on Miong.

                                “Oh fuck, you’re sick and I…” Miong panics, making Pole laugh.

                                “I’m so stupid, I didn’t know you’re sick and I just had to grope you. Oh shit…”

                                “I’ll be okay Miong.” He touches his cheek gently, Miong leans against his palm. They stay like this for a while, before Miong takes Pole’s hand in his and looks at him.

                                “Do you love Selong?”

                Pause. Silence. Pole feels Miong’s eyes drill holes through him, boring down to his soul, digging for an answer. He closes his eyes, trying to keep those eyes from uncovering something he himself is afraid of knowing. He breathes deep, Miong let’s go of his hand.

                                “Of course. Of course you do..” Pole could feels the pain in Miong’s voice. He raises his hand again to cup Miong’s cheek but the other turns away, instead Miong holds him closer.

                                “Listen, I have no intention of going against Selong. I’m really sorry about what happened tonight. If you want, we can both forget about it. Treat it as one more of my stupid acts.” Miong  whispers, his voice shaking.

 

                And that’s when Pole realizes it… Understands everything Miong has done, what he continues to do and…

 

                                “I’m sorry.” His whisper was barely audible.

                He understands now, knows the mistake he’s done. Andoy and Macs think  he can change Miong, even he himself considered it, but no, his presence is making things worse. Because the closer he is to Miong, the more he hurts him, the more that he reminds Miong of what happened then, the good, the bad, everything. Miong has been trying to run away from the things that hurt him and what does Pole do? He throws himself smack in front of Miong without warning, forcing himself into the other’s life without asking, considering about the intrusion. Pole clutches at Miong’s shirt, his thin frame shaking as he cries because he’s just discovered the truth: He’s not Miong’s cure, not even close. But he is the cause of Miong’s pain, and he knows what he must do, but oh God, it hurts.

 

                                “Pole?” Miong whispers, he tilts the other’s face and saw the tears. He shushes him, rocks his bosy, trying calm him down.

                                “No, don’t cry, it’s not your fault…” But Miong doesn’t really understand it, he just wants his lover to stop crying.

                                “Pole, look at me, tell me what’s wrong.”

 

                In reply, Pole pulls him down, crushes their lips together, his hand touching Miong’s manhood, palming it to life. Miong breaks off, clasps his hand and stares at him.

                                “You don’ t want to do this.” He mutters.

                                “Let me.”

                                “Think about this, once I let go, I will not stop…” Miong’s eyes darken, and with his free hand wandering all over Pole’s body, stimulating every nerve ending, but not lingering.

                                “Do whatever you want. For the first and last time after all these years. I’m yours.” Miong stops, and Pole takes his chance to kiss him again.

                                “Please” he murmurs.

 

                Miong thinks he understand it now. This must be the closing the two of them need before they could entirely move on and forget what happened.  He lets go of Pole’s hand…

~o~

                Pole wakes up and finds himself clean and fully clothed. There’s even a towel wrapped around him and he’s secured by the strong arm that pins him against Miong’s chest. He smiles and enjoys the quiet moment. He looks back at what happened, and finds no regret in any of it. Yes, he slept with Miong which means he’s  cheated on Selong, but it doesn’t matter. Because this will be the last time.

                When Miong wakes up, Pole has fallen back asleep, Miong kisses him on the forehead and gently lifts him up. He makes his way down to the entrance of the gym where he a van, it’s  driver seat door open and Macs sitting behind the wheel.

 

                                “Damn, you two took your time, huh.” He smirks, Miong glares at him.

                                “Can you get Pole’s wheelchair back there?”

                                “Hey, you also left this.” Macs said a while later, throwing Pole’s phone  into one of the seats.

                                “There’s been a bunch of missed calls… If I remember right, Selong’s fight was last night. I wonder how it turned out?” Miong sends him a glare and Macs shrugs. A little later, they’re on their way.

                Pole wakes up to Macs singing along Eye of the Tiger and notices that they’re inside a vehicle. It takes him a moment to realize that he’s not properly seated inside the van, actually…

 

                                “Miong, put me down!” he says, finally noticing that he’s been on Miong’s lap the entire time.

                                “No.”

                                “Miong!” In reply, Miong tightens his hold.

                                “Pole, you know very well that doesn’t work on a person as stubborn as Miong. Leave it be.” Macs said, flashing him a glance through the rearview mirror.

                They find Goyong, Rusca, and Paco by the gate, the three of them sitting on the pavement looking despondent. The threelads looked up as Macs honked thrice.

 

                                “If it’s Pole you’re looking for, he’s here.” Macs hollered. Goyong’s face lit p.

                                “Miong, put me down” panic starts to rise in Pole’s chest. What would Goyong think if he sees him like this? Miong takes no heed, and instead pulls open the door. Goyong runs to meet them but stops at the sight of Miong.

                Miong ignores the wide-eyed stares around them and proceeds in front of the gate. Goyong wordlessly opens it, throws the doors open to let them in. Miong carries Pole up to the bedroom, lays him on the bed and tucks him in while Goyong stands watch by the doorway.

 

                                “I’ll be going now.” Pole nods.

                                “Thank you.”

 

                Miong walks out of the room, passes Goyong who gives him a deathly glare. Down to the living room where he sees the framed picture of Pole and Selong. He curses under his breath. Macs suddenly appear beside him.

                                “Makes you want to tear the thing down, doesn’t it?”

                                “I can arrange it if you want. We’ll sneak in when no one’s at home and rip that ugly thing off the wall. Watcha say?”

                                ‘Kuya Miong?” Rusca squeaks.

                                “Rusca!” Miong grins and ruffles the kid’s hair.

                                “Did Goyong call you out here?”                              

                                “Yes. He noticed that Pole’s gone and he got worried.”

                                “Ah, sorry, we had to talk for a while.”

                                “Are you back now, Kuya Miong?” Paco asks.

                                “Who knows?”

~o~

                                “Goyong.” Pole beckons. Goyong walks to his bedside, head down.

                                “I’m sorry I worried you child, it was just a sudden thing.” Goyong shakes his head.

                                “It’s okay Kuya. Have you talked with Kuya Miong? What happened? Is everything okay with you two?”

                                “Well, we talked. And…” he tries to add something but couldn’t find what.

                                “So, you’re okay?” Goyong’s tone livened up, his eyes sparkling with expectation. Pole looks quizzically at him.

                                “I’ve always liked Kuya Miong…” Goyong said sheepishly.

                                “So, is he going to train with us again? When is he visiting?!” Pole doesn’t reply. Because he knows there will be no visits. He’s going to close a book that’s been long stuck on a particular chapter and he doesn’t want to crush Goyong’s hope.

                                “Look!” Goyong laughs, reaching to the overturned picture frame on the bedside table.

                                “Is he going to win you back?”

                                “Goyong. You know Selong is your uncle right?” Goyong barks

                                “I know. But you should see Kiuya Miong when you were together. He’s totally hopelessly in love with you it’s funny!”

                                “Oh, by the way, I received a message from Uncle’s coach. He won the fight and he’s on his way back here. ” Goyong says as he runs out when Rusca calls from downstairs.

                And that’s when Pole remembers his phone. He takes it and sees the missed calls and remembers what happened the night before. He shakes his head and calls Selong.

 

                                “Love?” Relief could be heard over Selong’s voice. Pole feels a sliver of pain as he remembers his infidelity.

                                “I’m sorry I missed your calls. I was…” he tries to find an excuse, but thinks it’s better to say nothing so she changes the subject.

                                “Goyong tells me you’ve won! Congratulations!’ he tries to sound as cheerful as possible.

                                “You sound worse today love, how are you feeling?”

                                “Ah, no… It’s just.. well, I just need some sleep.”

                                “Okay, you do just that. When I get back, I’ll take care of you.”

                                “Sure. I’ll look forward to that.”

                                “I love you.” A beat. Pole hesitates. But why?

                                “I love you too.”

~o~

                Miong curses as the wrapping around his hand falls apart for the third time. No matter how hard he tries, he just can’t get it right. The only reason he was able to survive the past months was because Oryang does the job for him. Patiently teaching him how to do it right and giggling everytime he fails.

 

                                “Here, I’ll show you…” Oriang moves to get to him but Andoy stops her.

                                “Let him learn, dear. He just can’t rely on someone else with such a simplething as this.” Amdoy says firmly. Miong sticks out his tongue at him and just whirls the cloth around his knuckles.

                                “There. Done.” Miong announced, raising his fists. His right wrapped somewhat fine, but his left…

                                “No. You’re not getting out of this locker room until you get it right.” Andoy glares. Miong glares back. Oriang laughs at them,

                                “You two sound like children. Andoy, get out there and prepare while I wrap Miong’s hand.” Oriang shoves her husband out and turns her attention to Miong.

                                “It’s nice that you’ve made a turn around this fast.” She smiles, unwinding the wrap.

                                “I had to.”

                                “But don’t push yourself too much. Your body is already conditioned to the no-holds-barred fight in the bodega. You need to know when to lose control.”

                                “Any word from Pole?” Miong shakes his head.

                                “He’s doing the same thing I did before. I should have sensed it way back then, but I was too blind.”

                                “It’s not too late… Are you getting him back?” Oriang finishes and pats his hand.

                                “I want to. But if he doesn’t want me, it’s okay. But I’ll get him out of the same shit I was in before.”

                                “That’s the spirit. Now off you go…”

 

                Miong smiles at her and stands up. He’s hated Andoy’s high class gym but then it’s more private than others. And not to mention free. He walks out, feels glad that no one pays him much attention. He jumps up the ring where Andoy’s waiting for him.

 

                                “Ready?” Andoy asks.

                                “Ready.”

~o~

                                “You did well today, Rookie.” Andoy grins.

                                “I always do well. Remember who beat you in that big fight?” he smirks. Ando whacks him on the head.

                                “It was rigged, and you know it.” They both laugh.

                                “So, where now? Do you have to work today?” Miong shakes his head.

                                “I’m off. I’l ljust stay inside the condo and sleep.”

                                “That’s good. You do that.”

 

                Miong mutters “I’m home” to no one in particular as he opens the door to his unit. He tosses his bag to one corner and pulls out the sofa bed in the living area. He has a bedroom mind you, but he doesn’t sleep in it. He doesn’t even open the place and just lets the cleaners do their thing once a week. He’s much more comfortable on the sofa bed, since all he needs to do to get up is froll from the foam to the floor. He reaches in his pocket for his Iphone, sans the broken screen and looking brand new. He dials a number and waits as I rings, rings, and rings some more until the automated voice of a woman interrupts. He sighs and hangs up, giving up for the day. Just then, his other phone rings.

               

It’s a call from his brother, a resident doctor at a big hospital. The opponent he almostkilled in his last fight has come back for his last check up and proves to be healthy.  His brother asks him if he wants to visit He agrees.

 

                The rich people throw him either wary glances or arches an eyebrow at the sight of his dirty jeans and faded sweatshirt. He ignores them. Instead, he proceeds to his brother’s office and meets up with the man. Greeting and stories were exchanged and the man bids farewell to the brothers. Miong’s brother accompany the man, leaving Miong alone I nthe room. He paced to and fro, and decided to be on his way and just meet his brother outside. He puts a hand on he doorknob, twists, pulls the door open when to his surprise, he sees somebody on the other side. It’s  alady, and a pretty one at that.

 

“Emilio?” he blinks, and at last recognizes her beautiful face.

                                “Hilaria?” the lady smiles.

 

                 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, this is a tad different from what has been posted on Tumblr. I just felt like I need to do some minor change and before I knew it, it became like this. 
> 
> I'll stop for a while because this is gearing towards #CrimesAgainstPole and I need to think of a way to get around it.
> 
> I have no idea what Macs is doing with his life, but I like his character so... hahahaha XD


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is way overdue... Thanks to Chuckles the Mime for giving me ideas for Hilaria's nickname (the one given by Selong. I was thinking since Selong is the oldest in the group, he'd still use those old fashioned nicknames.
> 
> Thanks as well to Durch for the hcs.
> 
> This should have been longer, but at 8k words, I had to cut out the beach scene (putting it in another chapter though).
> 
> Ta,

                        “You still remember me? That’s great!” Hilaria’s eyes seem to sparkle.

 

                        “Miong, could you at least let us in?” His brother chimes in, appearing behind the young woman.

 

            Miong obliges and steps away from the door. Hilaria enters, followed by Miong’s older brother who motions for the young woman to sit, choosing to sit on the couch just beside the window where Miong is busy leaning against the frame trying to look interested with whatever is outside.

 

                        “Miong. Hilaria needs someone to accompany her to Pole’s office. Can you do that?” his brother asks out of the blue making Miong whip his head to the doctor’s direction so fast there’s an audible _pop_ of bones.

                        “What?!” he exclaims, a hand rubbing against his neck.

                        “I’m sorry.  I don’t know anyone connected to him aside from you two and I’m really not familiar with the place…” Miong is now rubbing his temples.

                        “Where’s it again?” he asks, pretending to have no knowledge of the place. Hilaria gives him a paper.

                        “When do you want to go?” he mutters, handing her back the direction.

                        “Uhm, now, if it’s okay?” she looks at the brothers. Miong heaves a sigh.

                        “Okay, let’s go. Do you have a car, or?”

                        “I’m having it checked right now.” She cuts him off.

                        “Okay, no choice, let’s just take a cab. Bro, we’re off.”

~o~

 

            Hilaria mutters a quick word of gratitude to Miong’s brother and proceeds to catch up with Miong who had unceremoniously walked out on them the moment he finished his statement. She feels relieved to see him walking leisurely along the hall, and she gives him a small nod when he looks back to check behind him. She trots up to a few paces behind Miong then keeps the pace and distance because she somehow feels an air of hostility suddenly emanating from her chaperone. They continue like this until Miong hails a cab, he opens the back door for her before getting into the passenger side. They ride in total and somewhat awkward silence masked thankfully by the radio playing inside the cab. As the cab slowly pulls over in front of their destination, Hilaria checks the meter and rummages in her handbag for their fare.

 

                        “Here.” She hears, Miong say and looks up to see him handing over some bills to the driver before getting out. Just as she’s about to open the car door, Miong opens it from the outside.

                        “Thank you.”

                        “Twenty eighth floor. Adriano law office.” He says to the receptionist as he hands a card.

                        “Do you have an id?”

 

            As this is the first time Miong addresses her after they got out of the hospital, it made her temporarily black out but it only lasted a few seconds and then she proceeds to pull out her license and give it to Miong. They line up in front of the row of elevators and wait for a car. As they step inside, she feels something change, or rather notice something…

 

            Miong’s finger hovers hesitantly in front of the button for a few seconds before he finally presses it. And as the numbers in the panel above them go up, she feels Miong slowly lose composure. She hears the soft, but rapid taps of his shoe against the steel wall, sees him glance up to the changing digits on the panel. And when they finally arrive, she watches Miong’s split-second hesitation to get out of the car.

 

                        “Excuse me, I’m here to see Mr. Mabini.” She tells the receptionist while Miong excuses himself to the smoking area.

                        “Do you have an appointment?” she shakes her head.

                        “I’m sorry but I can’t let you in without an appointment.”

                        “But can you at least tell him Hilaria del Rosario wants to see him?” the receptionist shakes her head.

                        “I’m sorry Ma’am but I can’t. If you want, I can book you an appointment, but that will be for the next month since he will be on leave…”

 

She cuts the explanation of with a shake of her head and walks back to the seats reserved for guests. She looks around for any sign of Miong but since he’s still apparently burning his lungs somewhere, she decides to just pay attention to her phone, fiddling with the keypad, calling up someone and hanging up, going to social media sites, this continued until she eyes Miong coming out of a hall. She looks at her phone once again before hitting a button.

 

            “What happened?” she heaves a sigh.

            “They say I need an appointment.”

                        “Do you really want to see him now? We can just wait here until he comes out.” Miong shrugs, she chuckles.

                        “I’m sure they’ll throw us out before that happens.”

                        “Rose, is there-“

 

~o~

 

            Pole stops in mid sentence as his peripheral vision catches some movement, and to his surprise he sees two familiar faces. But his gaze focuses on the man in the faded jeans and sweatshirt, the one who is looking straight at him.

 

                        “Miong?” he breathes.

                        “Pole!” he snaps out as Hilaria approaches him.

                        “Arya, what are you doing here?” he asks after their brief hug.

                        “I just thought I’d like to visit my patient once in a while.” She smiles.

                        “Oh, and Emilio helped me on the way.” She steps aside and points to Miong who nods, Pole tilts his head, avoiding Miong’s eyes.

                        “I’m sorry for the sudden visit, is this a bad time?” Pole looks back at his office door but shakes his head anyway.

                        “No, no, of course it isn’t.” he lies.

 

~o~

 

            Miong knows very well what he’s getting himself into when he decided to accompany Hilaria to Pole’s office. But he’ll be lying to himself if he says that he didn’t want to see Pole. He needs to see him, badly. And yet, his feeling of excitement slowly ebbs as he nears his destination. And now? Now that Pole’s once more in front of him? He’s totally frozen on the spot, all the words he’d been thinking, all the things he said to himself he’d do when he sees Pole, they all vanished the moment his eyes fell on the older man.

 

                        “Pole” all of a sudden he hears his own voice, dry, cracking. He sees Pole finally look up, their gaze locking momentarily before the wheelchair-bound man looks away.

 

            He feels the world slow down, his vision focus only on one person. He could hear the squeak of his sneakers against the tiled floor as he approaches the wheelchair. He raises a hand, aiming to cup a cheek when Pole flinches then looks away. His hand freezes, and slowly lower to just tap a shoulder when…

 

                        “Love?”

 

            His hand freezes for the second time.

 

~o~

 

            It was their eyes that first met. Miong’s bewildered stare slips easily into an ice cold one as Selong’s eyes darken for a bit then regains its own light. In that split second of tension, Pole watches them closely, though his eyes stay glued on his partner, gauging his reaction. Meanwhile, Hilaria looks at Miong, or rather the balled up fist Miong keeps at his side.

 

                       

                        “Please excuse me, can you hold for a few minutes?” Selong says to the person on the other line and he puts his phone on mute.

                        “Miong.”  He begins, smiling.

                        “It’s been years. How are you?” the older man continues

                        “Still the same, I guess. And you?” he shrugs, trying to sound causal but Hilaria notices the still clenched fist and how it quivers.

                        “Nothing much. “ he walks over to them and gives Miong a pat on the shoulder before turning to Hilaria.

                        “’yang. Have you started your med studies already?”

                        “Not yet. I asked my parents for a year off to think things.” Selong nods.

“Listen, I’m getting a reservation for dinner, maybe you’d like to come with us?”

                        “No-“ Hilaria starts but Miong chimes in.

                        “Sure.” Miong snickers, making Pole gape at him.

                        “It’s settled then. Excuse me.” Selong goes back to his phone.

            They drive to the restaurant with only Selong and Hilaria conversing inside the van. Miong looks uninterested and just stares outside, noting that Selong’s driving skills hadn’t improved much over the years.

 

                        ‘Still driving like an old man.’

 

            A plastic wrapper pushed right under his nose breaks his trance. He looks at it and sees Hilaria holding up two mint candies in front of him, the serrated edges of the wrapper purposely making contact with his nose.

 

                        “You look like you’re going to be sick. Here” She comments.

                        “I’m not.” He snaps, irritated.

                        “Oh really?” Hilaria raises an eyebrow, shrugs and takes back the candies and unwrapping one.

                        “Candy?” she leans over to the front seat, offering one to Pole who declines.

                        “Candy?” Selong laughs and accepts it.

 

            When at last they arrive at a restaurant nearly another city away, the younger ones wait as Selong readies the wheelchair. Hilaria then helps, tending to Pole’s legs as they set him on his wheelchair.

 

                        “Why are you still using this old thing?” Hilaria half scolds, holding onto the wheelchair.

                        “That’s what we’ve been telling him, but he doesn’t listen. I think he’s waiting for it to fall apart before he buys a new one.”

                        “I’ve grown attached to this.” Pole says stubbornly, making the others laugh.

 

            Meanwhile, Miong stands several feet away as if isolated by some barrier, watching the three talk and laugh together, and waits until the group moves on to tail behind them. He feels terribly out of place in the restaurant. Yes, it’s just some casual dining establishment, but the presence of foreigners and suit-clad office workers make him conscious of his shabby attire. It would have been nice if that’s the only thing fuelling his insecurity right now, the apparent closeness of Selong, Pole and Hilaria makes him feel more out of place than anything else.

 

                        “What are you doing now ‘yang?” Selong opens up the conversation as they wait for their food.

                        “Chilling out.” She begins with a wide smile.

                        “But I’ve volunteered for an NGO and we have medical missions and outreach programs during weekends. But that’s just about it.” She shrugs.

                        “It’s nice that you’re doing community work Arya.” Pole smiles.

                        “It’s enjoyable too. I think it’s better than being stuck with terrible patients.” Selong laughs heartily as he elbows Pole.

                        “I think she means you.”

                        “Am I that bad before?” Pole grins. She shakes her head.

                        ‘N-no, no. I didn’t mean to say that. You’re actually the easiest one I had ever. Well, if we’re talking about bad patient-“ she turns with a grin to Miong and as she’s about to continue, the waiters approach them with their food.

 

 

            As usual, the talk circulates only between Selong and Hilaria. Pole joins in from time to time, while Miong just listens. He looks at the people around the table, his eyes furtively falling onto Pole when Selong and Hilaria are deep in their conversation. He notices how Pole eats looking down, as if so engrossed with his food. He rarely looks up, save to smile and thank the waiters, and he most certainly doesn’t look at Miong. Halfway through the main course, Miong already regrets agreeing to the dinner, obviously Pole is uncomfortable with his presence, and he can’t imagine what Pole is thinking right now.

 

                        ‘Shit Miong, wrong move.’

                        “Emilio.” He looks at Hilaria in surprise and she cocks her head towards Selong’s direction.

                        “What keeps you busy these days?” the older man asks. Miong sees Pole tighten his grip on his utensils. He sighs inwardly.

                        “Working part time at a convenience store. The pay is crap, but it’s better than not doing anything.”

                        “Why not get a job in the family business?” he shrugs.

                        “It’s not really for me.”

                        “And boxing? I heard some news that you’re practicing in one of Andoy’s gyms. Is that true?”

                        “I’m glad you’re back in the proper ring.” Miong’s ears twitch

                        “I don’t reckon there’s a “proper ring”.”

                        “There is. Somewhere where the fights are more or less legal.” Came the blunt reply.

 

            The air around the table suddenly grew tense and everyone stopped eating. Thankfully, the mechanical ringing of a phone breaks the tension as the group looks around for the source.

 

                        “Oh sorry…” Pole mutters, looking at his phone. He sees the display a moment before the phone call gets cut off.

                        “Say Pole…” Hilaria chimes in, not letting any of the men speak.

                        “Your receptionist said something about waiting for a month to get an appointment with you? What’s with that?”

                        “I’ll be on leave for a month we…” he stops, eyes falling on Miong.

                        “We’re going to take a trip. We’ve been very busy with our work that we hardly had enough time for each other. Besides, we’ll be having our anniversary soon.” Selong finishes. Pole sits in silence beside him, not daring to look either at his partner or Miong.

                        “Where do you plan on going? And is Goyong coming with you?”

                        “We plan on visiting Pole’s brother in Batangas, then off to Seoul then Japan. Then back here to be lazy at home. Goyong won’t be coming, He’s all too happy to spend the time with the Luna boys…” just then, a question from Miong interrupts him in mid-sentence.

                        “When’s your flight?” but his eyes are on Pole who’s busy inspecting his bowl of soup.

                        “We’ll leave for Batangas on Sunday.” he replies, head still lowered. He knows Miong is looking at him.

                        “Great, that’s great. I hope you enjoy.”  Pole looks up at this, surprised. Of all things Miong could say…

                        “Thanks. We will.” Selong grins.

~o~

 

                        “Miong, are you sure you’re not coming with us?” Selong asks from inside the van.

 

            After the meal, Selong offered to drive the younger ones home, Miong demurred and said he prefers to commute and Hilaria followed suit.

 

                        “Yeah.” He raises a hand in a gesture of farewell.

                        “Thanks for the free dinner and take out!” Hilaria grins, raising her paper bag

                        “Bye, Iyang.” Selongs smiles. He nods to Miong before starting the van.

 

            Emilio watch the van drive away. As they get inside a cab, his mind runs through the happenings of that day, particularly the dinner. Pole’s obvious uneasiness throughout the meal, his refusal to meet Miong’s eyes, clearly tells him that Pole’s still not ready to meet him. He sighs. It’s not like he doesn’t understand Pole’s situation, God knows he’s been like that for years after the incident happened. He has to give Pole the time and space needed. It will take time though, but he’s okay with it. After all, it was his own damn fault that he got into this situation.  


                        “Talk this out with him Miong.” He hears Andoy’s words in his mind.

 

            He wonders what could have happened if he listened. If he’d been less stubborn and just discussed things with Pole, how different would he be right now? And Selong… He hisses and pulls at his hair. Of course there’s Selong. And from what he’d seen today, he’s pretty sure about it more than ever: Pole does love Selong and vice versa. Yes, it hurts, yes, he still wish it could’ve been him and Pole going away for a whole month, but no.

 

            Whether he likes it, but of course he doesn’t, the two are happy… together. So even if he’s not the source of that happiness, he’ll yield. He’ll do them both a favor and stay out of their life. This will have to be the last day he sets his eyes on Pole. It officially ends here.

 

            Hell, he thinks he should have accepted Hilaria’s candy. He does feel like he’s going to be sick.

 

                        “Emilio.”

 

He snaps out of his thoughts, to find Hilaria paying the taxi driver. They have arrived at their destination. He clambered out of the cab and followed Hilaria to the entrance of the tall building.

 

                        “Thank you.” she smiles.

                        “Don’t mention it. Here. I’m already full.” He thrusts the hand holding the paper bag. Hilaria laughs.

                        “I have one too, have you forgotten?” Miong scratches his head.

                        “Okay, I’ll be going now. Bye.” He mutters.  She watches him go.

                        “Emilio.” She calls. When he turns around, she throws something to his direction. Miong catches it by reflex and looks at it.

                        “What’s this?” he asks, looking up and seeing Hilaria had already turned and back and is making her way into the building.

                        “Candy.” She calls back, raising a hand.

                        “You look like you really need it. You seem bitter all day.” She snickers, raising her magnetic card to the reader and pushing the door, but not without a last smirk at Miong.

 

 

            Miong shakes his head and pockets the candy. He thinks he’ll drop by the gym to meet Andoy and give him the food.

~o~

 

            Macs grins at seeing Andoy’s stressed features and he walks behind his friend to read over his shoulder the letter that’s the apparent source of his friend’s trouble.

 

                        “Ohohohoo” he snickers, much to Andoy’s annoyance

                        “Shut up.” Andoy hisses, waving his friend off.

                        “What? Are you going to decline again?” Andoy ignores him.

                        “Hey.’ Miong greets, his voice lacking the enthusiasm normally required of a greeting.

                        “Yo.” Macs offers a salute. Andoy pockets the paper and looks at Miong.

                        “Why do you look so tired?” Andoy asks as Miong walks over to them.

                        “Nothing much. Here.” He drops the paper bag with the take out on the bench beside Andoy.

                        “What’s this?” Andoy asks suspiciously.

                        “Take out. Food. It’s good.” Miong answers nonchalantly. Macs opens up the bag.

                        “Looks legit. Whay’re you giving it away?”

                        “I don’t like it.” A shrug.

 

            Macs stares at Miong and Andoy, noting their haggard features then he claps his hands so loud even the other people inside the gym had to stop.

 

                        “Okay, that’s it. We’re going to drink.” He announces, an arm falling heavily around Miong and Andoy’s shoulder.

 

~o~

 

                        “…so that’s why…”  Macs nods while Miong relates to them what happened earlier.

 

            The group ended up in Macs’ rented place, a small plywood house not far from where Miong used to stay with this “ex” girlfriend. Macs and Andoy bought the necessities for the drinking spree while Miong and Andoy took out the food from the paper bag and haphazardly dumped them into plates. So far, only Miong has been talking, coaxed by Macs as Andoy just listens quietly as he hands out the drinks.

 

                        “Good thing you didn’t hit him then and there.” Miong shakes his head.

                        “It’s a public place. Besides, I know Pole wouldn’t like that. So I just rolled with that douche the entire time.” Andoy smiles at him.

                        “You’ve matured a bit, kid.” Andoy says, ruffling his hair. Macs roared with laughter while Miong hissed.

                        “Oi, where’re you going?” Miong asks as Andoy gets up and walks to the door.

                        “Leaving. Oryang will be worried and EJ will not sleep until he sees me at home. You two drunkards knock yourself out, that’s what you’re good at.” He smirks. Macs throws him an ice cube.

 

                        “What happened to him? He seems a little quiet”

                        “Ah, something just made him a wee bit grumpy.”

 

            Miong stayed until the booze ran out and despite Macs’ offer to have him as a guest in his shanty, he refused. Walking in the middle of dimly lit alleys, he made his way back to the main road where in his drunken state almost tripped over nothing. Good thing his hand was able to grab the lamp post near him and he leaned on it for a while to straighten his thoughts.

 

                        “Miong?”

 

 

            He looks up, but before he makes out who called him, he felt something hit his chest.

 

                        “Miong, where’ve you been? I knew you’d be back!”

 

            He recognizes the voice now, also the amrs that circled possessively around his neck. It was his “ex” girlfriend. He tries to shake her off, but she clings to him, her hands running all over his hair and face.

 

                        “Have you been drinking? Come on, let’s go home.” Miong finally pushes her hands away and he proceeds to walk, as if not hearing anything.

                        “Miong.” She runs to him, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him the other way. Miong grunts.

                        “Listen. You and I, we’re done. That’s why I moved out, and that’s why I’m not coming back.”

                        “Miong, you’re just drunk. Let’s go.” She insisted. Miong grabbed her by the wrist and she winces at the tight grip.

                        “There’s only one place I’m going home tonight and that’s not your place.” He says before turning his back at her and walking to the other direction.

                        “So, you’ve found another woman to fuck huh? Fine, I don’t need you anyway!” she screamed. Miong just waved at her.

 

~o~

 

            Pole wheels himself out to he balcony and slides the door shut before going through his contacts. He calls a number and patiently waits as it rings.

 

                        “Hi Pole.” Hilaria greets from the other line.

                        “Wait a sec, let me go on hazard and get my headset on.”

                        “Where did you leave your car earlier?” he asks

                        “Okay, that’s done. Hm, my car? Back at the condo. I needed an excuse to take Emilio with me to see you.” He sighs.

                        “Are you going to your parents’ house now?” he asks, changing topics.

                        “Yes. I did promise them I’d spend the weekend at home. Why’d you call?”

                        “To thank you for saving the situation earlier.”

                        “The phone call? Don’t mention it, I was just trying to stop a probable mess. I thought it’d be nice to bring in Emilio when I visit you, I just didn’t count on Selong being there as well.”

                        “Yes. I was surprised that you’re with him, after what happened outside the courthouse.” He hears Hialria laugh.

                        “And you have to remind me about that. But honestly, I was afraid he’d turn down helping me find your office. I remember I slapped him pretty hard that day.”

                        “He’s not someone who tends to hold grudges.” Pole explains, smiling.

                        “Reaa~lly.”

                        “Arya…” Pole’s tone changes and Hilaria laughs again.

                        “Just kidding. Aren’t you going to sleep yet?”

                        “In a bit. Selong’s still in the bath-“

                        “Oh, so tonight is…” Pole reddens and he quickly cuts her off.

                        “Hilaria del Rosario!” he half yells. Hilaria burst out laughing.

                        “Oh my.. Pole, I can practically imagine you blushing right now!” another shrill laugh.

                        “Arya, please…”

                        “You’re so cute. No wonder they all want you.” Pole groans.

                        “Anyways. It’s getting late, we don’t want to keep Selong waiting…”  Pole laughs a little at this.

                        “Arya, about the thing that I asked you.” He starts, his tone getting serious.

                        “It’s too early to say. But from what I’ve seen, I think there’s nothing to worry about. I didn’t see any marks on his arms. Well, there are other ways of taking drugs, but at least he didn’t stab himself with god knows what. Also, I don’t think he’s a dependent. He might have taken it periodically, or if, in the slightest chance that he got hooked real bad, he hasn’t been back into the habit for a while now. And given that he doesn’t look wasted or like a brain-craving zombie, there’s really nothing to worry about.” Pole heaves a sigh.

                        “Wait, did you say he has a girlfriend?” Pole swallows, is it his imagination, or did it leave a bitter taste in his mouth?

                        “Yes. Last time I heard he’s living with her.” His voice came out, raspy, dry.

                        “Well. I guess she’s the B.I. I’ll be in touch soon. You lovebirds enjoy the night. Bye.” Hilaria hangs up before Pole can speak.

 

            He places the phone on his lap as he stares out; he’s still thinking about what happened earlier today, about seeing Miong once again. Remembers how he’d wish him and Selong to enjoy the vacation. How could Miong ever say that?! He wonders why he feels so irritated about it? Is Miong already over what happened between them? Was it really that easy to forget? He feels his temper rise the more he thinks about it, and it makes him want to… He jumps as he feels something cold on his shoulder.

 

                        “Selong.” He breathes, looking behind him.

                        “Did I scare you?” he shakes his head.

                        “You just surprised me. I had just finished talking to Arya.” Selong nods.

 

            Pole lay awake for hours that night. Feigning sleep, he waits, ears straining to hear his phone ring like it does every night for the past few months. He waits, periodically opening an eye to look at the clock, counting the minutes and hours that passes by, but there’s no call. He’s been so used to hearing his phone go off that not hearing it now makes him…

 

_Beep_

            He stops, his body going tense as the beeping continues. It’s not a phone call, just a message, but still, his heart starts racing… What if?

 

                        “Stop it, Pole.” He admonishes himself mentally.

 

            He tries to move, he always puts his phone within his reach even at night. As a lawyer, he’s learned that clients can get themselves into trouble at any given time. Night time calls would most often be from a riot, a gambling issue, roadside accident, and heaven forbid, homicide or murder. But this time, his mind is not betting on any of his clients. For now, he’s only hoping that the message be from one man.

 

_Beep_

 

            He moves Selong’s arm from around his chest and reaches out for his phone. And like an answered prayer, he sees an unregistered number on his screen. Well, it’s not really an unknown number. He’s known that number for years. He opens the messages and reads.

 

                        “ _Pole, are  you awake?_ ”

                        _“I’m happy to see you earlier. But you look pale, have you been putting up all nighters again? It’s bad for you. Sleep.”_ In the middle of reading this, he hears another beep. He smiles as he opens it.

                        _“ Selong still drives way below the acceptable speed limit. Does he even arrive on time at work?.”_

                        “He’s drunk.” Pole stifles a laugh.

                        _“Miong, you’re drunk. Go to sleep.”_ He replies, waits for a response.

                        _“I thought you’re asleep. Go to sleep, Pole.”_

_“I will, if you promise no more drunk texting. Go to sleep.”_

 

            Pole waits, his eyes finally feeling the weight of sleep. In a matter of minutes, he’s fast asleep, still holding his phone in one hand. He stays like this for hours, peacefully sleeping until the muffled beeping wakes him again. He sleepily opens his eyes and tries to focus at the message. His face breaks into a wide smile as he reads it.

 

~o~

 

            Back in her parents’ house, Hilaria pulls out a box from her dresser and digs into the trinkets and junk piles inside until she fishes out an old organizer, smiling as she reads the contents. They’re from her students days, when they still have hospital duties.             She flips through several pages until she finds the portion she will always love to read.

 

_The hospital is a bit busy today. Two people were admitted and it would seem like they’ve had a run in with the law since the police and reporters are everywhere. The head nurse sternly told us to keep away from the fuss and just do our assigned tasks. One of the patients is in the ICU, the other is badly injured, but stable. I heard they’re both students. I wonder what happened._

_So, the one in the private room is supposed to be an athlete, and the one in the ICU is his friend, or boyfriend (or so the rumors say). I pass by the athlete’s room from time to time and people seem to be always arguing in  there. I heard some of the nurses say the patient is a bit difficult. I just hope I won’t be assigned to him._

_The athlete’s friend is out of the ICU and was moved to another private room. I heard a nurse say everything’s being paid for by the athlete’s family. I did hear that the whole fight is the athlete’s fault, so I guess it’s just right. I saw a well-dressed lady in her fifties enter the private room earlier. I wonder who she is._

 Hilaria skips some entries, moving to the part where everything started. She reads the inked words and in her mind, she can vividly recall every moment, as if she’s going back in time and living it out once again.

 

~Flashback~

 

            Night Duty. Usually, it doesn’t bother her much. Hospital wards and darkened corridors don’t scare her. She actually likes the peace and quiet of the early morning hours when there’s no rush of doctors, nurses, orderlies, and family members so typical of daytime hospital. A senior nurse asked her to visit a patient in one of the private rooms for the routine temperature check. As soon s the elevator opens, she could see the long corridor in front of her, and… the lone figure standing in front of one of the rooms. Nervous, she steps out of the car and into the hall, of course she’s heard about paranormal experiences during shifts, even experienced some of it herself, but this has to be the first time she’s going to see an actual ghost.

 

            She cautiously approaches the figure, and to her relief, it’s a patient, and surely a living one because she reached out for his arm and found it warm.

 

                        “Sir, excuse me, are you lost?” She tries to look at the wrist tag, but the arm wouldn’t move.

                        “Sir. You shouldn’t be here. Please, let me escort you back to your room.”

 

            No response. Instead, the man walks in front of the door, eyes the solid wood, then the door handle. Hilaria watches him, curious, and at the same time on alert. She sees the man reach for the door handle but his hand stops a few inches on top of it. He seems to hesitate and he lowers his hand. Again, he stares at the door, and again he raises his hand, this time to knock. But just like last time, he stops, lowers his hand and stares at the door. Hilaria walks beside him again.

 

                        “Sir?” she asks.

 

            Just then, the door opens, and she looks up in surprise at the man standing in front of them.

 

                        “Miong. Why don’t you come in?” the man asks. He looks older, at that time she thought he’s the patients brother. She will later learn that he’s actually a friend of the patient, another athlete.

                        “Pole’s asleep. But…” the man stops when “Miong” steps back and saunters off.

 

A door suddenly opens, and a young woman comes out, obviously waken from sleep. She runs to the other patient, talks to him even though it’s obvious that the other paid her no heed. She then ran towards Hilaria and the other man.

 

                        “I’m so sorry  Kuya Selong.  I didn’t know Kuya Miong went out.” The young lady apologized.

                        “It’s okay Fely. I guess he just wants to see Pole.”

 

~End of Flashback~

 

            Hilaria takes a sip of milk and rests her head on the pages of the planner. That had been her first encounter with Emilio. Since that night, she’s seen him wait outside the other door, just standing there, staring. He will eventually go back t his room, when one of Pole’s brothers or a nurse comes out of Pole’s room, he’ll just walk listlessly back

 

            Pole, however… she smiles as he turns another page, this one is marked by several rose petals, one is even taped on the page.. She smile, lifting a petal up and examining it, her mind going back to that day she “formally met” Pole.

 

~Flashback~

 

            She never fails to look at that room whenever she passes by it and notes how the blinds are always closed and no sound seem to come from inside. She knows for a fact that the patient is already out of coma and she wants t to go and see the patient (more out of curiosity than anything else, really). Her time came when she’s assigned to do the rounds  for the pulse and bp check. When she got into the room, she finds both patient and his brother sleeping. She walks closer to the bed to take a good look at him. She sees the pale face, sunken flesh and protruding cheekbones and she winces. He might be out of danger, but he still looks very sick. She touches his forehead to feel any rise in temperature and she heaves a sigh of relief to find no signs of fever, he feels a bit cold even. She turns to the ac unit and raises the temperature a bit before doing her official task. Once done, she’s about to go when an idea pops in her head. She finishes her task as quickly as she could and then makes a dash to the little flower shop some way from the hospital.

 

                        “Excuse me.” She says as she pushes the door open.

                        “Yes?” the patient’s brother asks. He looks a bit tired but he smiled at her nevertheless.

                        “Is the patient still asleep?” The brother looks at the bed and nods. Hilaria enters the room.

                        “Can I… Can I place them here?”

 

            She arranged the flowers into a vase and afterwards thanked the patient’s brother before leaving.  She did the same thing in the following days, and then one day, after seeing the patient’s complexion not improving, she decides to open the blinds to let a bit of natural light come in.

 

                        “Who told you to open that!?” the loud, angry voice startled her. She looks beside her and notice the patient awake, and glaring at her.

                        “I’m sorry, I …” she stammered, immediately closing the blinds.

 

            The patient did not speak after that, he only turned to look at the other way, completely ignoring her presence. She mutters another apology before running out of the room.

 

            She thought twice if she’ll continue visiting, she didn’t want to see the patient again, out of embarrassment at what happened, but in the end, she remembered what Emilio told her the morning he left and she decided to keep going. Throughout her shift in that hospital, she brought flowers for him every day. She became friends with his brothers and Selong, but he never talked to her, in fact, he completely ignores the hospital staff. He seems to be in his own little world, his eyes usually blank and staring at the ceiling or the wall and he doesn’t talk. She tried to engage him in a conversation but failed, he wouldn’t answer, wouldn’t even acknowledge her presence.

 

                        “It’s your last day? That’s too bad, but thank you very much for the flowers and the visits, we really appreciate it.”

                        “Thank you as well. I’ll see if I can drop by during weekends, if it’s okay.”

                        “No problem. I’m sure Pole wouldn’t mind either.” But the patient is as usual, silent.

                        “Okay, I’ll be going now, we still have a meeting with the head nurse before we leave, and a little party.” She grins sheepishly.

 

                        “Thank you.”

                        “Good bye, Pole.” She says from the door.

                        “Wait…”

 

She stops, takes a few moments to digest what she heard. Did, did the patient just speak to her? He reaches out to the vase, she sees it wobble a bit as he tries to pull out a stalk. She runs to steady it.

 

            “Thank you.” He smiles, offering her a rose.

 

~End of Flashback~

 

            She came back to the hospital every Sunday after that, still bringing flowers, and then food for them to share. She would bring her books and study there, while Pole reads his law books. They would exchange books once in a while an comment on what they read. They easily became friends. She smiles, places the petal back to the notebook and closes it.

 

~o~

 

            Miong wakes up with the urge to go to the bathroom. Rolling down to the floor from his sofa bed, he struggles up, his legs still feels like jelly from the combination of too much alcohol and a sleepiness and he sways as he makes his way to the bathroom. After he finished his business, he slumped back to the bed, he sees his old iphone on the floor and picks it up, wondering how it got there. He sees the little envelope icon on the top of his display screen and he goes to his messages. He comes out of his half drunk, half sleepy state when he sees the thread, remembering him texting Pole.

 

                        “Miong, you dumbass.” He hisses under his breath and through gritted teeth.

 

            He’s about to switch it off when he notices the draft message he’s supposed to be typing. He probably passed out before sending it, and a good thing too, because the message reads:

 

                        “I love you”

 

            He quickly erases it, jabbing his finger on the backspace button like his life depends on it, afraid he might accidentally send it instead. Afterwards, he stares at the blinking cursor. He types in hurried words and sends the message. Afterwards, placing the phone on the floor beside his bed.

 

                        “Good night, sweet dreams.” Miong buries his head under a pillow.

 

~o~

 

            Hilaria goes down for breakfast that Sunday morning to find her father all dressed up at the table.

 

                        “Going somewhere, dad?” she yawns. Her father peeks from the open broadsheet in front of him.

                        “Yes. Off for business.” Hilaria nods and takes her seat, takes a strip of bacon and chews on it, her brain processing what she just heard.

                        “Dad, nobody goes on doing business stuff on Sundays.” She stared at her father, eyes seemingly piercing through the layers of paper between her and her father.

                        “I’m a doctor. I’m always on call.” Her father replies nonchalantly. She rolls her eyes.

                        “If it’s a house call, you won’t be sitting there reading the papers. You’d be off to somewhere out there in a flash even if you’re being called for some minor check up.” Her father laughs and puts down the paper.

                        “Sometimes I think you’re better off as a police officer, or a lawyer.”

                        “I did spend some time with a law student before.” She smiles.

                        “Pole? I will be seeing him and Selong today. Want to come with me?”

                        “Of course! Is this for the Commission?” a nod.

                        “Great! How’s that going? I heard the inauguration will be next month.” Her father lets out a sigh.

                        “We’re having some minor issues. But hopefully we can get the new Commission up and running next month.”

                        “Okay. I’ll just finish this then get ready. Wait for me.”

 

~o~

 

            They stop at a gas station where her father talks to an attendant and afterwards tells her to get out of the car.

 

                        “Let’s go.” Her father says, handing over a few bills to the clerk.

                        “Why aren’t we taking the car?” she asks, her father shrugs and directs her to the line of tricycles on the other side of the road.

                        “Where are we going?”

                        “Just a quick stop.”

 

            The trike drops them off in front of a narrow street lined with small shops, and the obligatory tambays lounging around, either with a bottle of beer of a cigarette stick in hand. Hilaria follows her father through the winding alleys until they emerge out a wider road. Near the end of the block they stop in front of a two floor structure which looks newer than everything else along that area.

 

                        “It’s a boxing gym…” she says under her breath

 

            The two enters and are greeted by a large man, his hair tied in a messy ponytail.

 

                        “Dr. Del Rosario.” Macs grins, offering his hand.

                        “So this is where you are, young man. Long time, no see. By the way, this is my daughter, Hilaria.”

                        “Nice to meet you, Macs Sakay.” She smiles as they shake hands, while being weirded out by the fact that they seem to be quite formal in such a setting.

                        “Andres is inside.”

 

            Macs leads them up a staircase, into the gym and to a small room where Andoy meets them. After pleasantries, Andoy leads the older del Rosario to a chair and they start their discussion. Hilaria steps out, and chances to meet Macs by the door, holding out bottles of soda and some crackers.

 

                        “Oh, thanks.” She smiles as she accepts one. Macs goes inside the room to deliver the remaining goods. Hilaria waits for him.

                        “Politics bore you out, huh. You can look around the gym if you want. We’ll be opening it to the public next week but everything’s already finished” She nods.

                        “Say…” she looks around.

                        “Other side of the gym. There’s a corridor on the left side that leads to the locker are. He’s there.” Hilaria stares at him.

                        “Go.” He winks.

 

            Following Macs’ instructions, Hilaria finds the locker rooms. And true enough, Miong is there, sitting on a bench and muttering a string of profanities. She looks at his hand, the apparent source of his frustration and the string of bandage and giggles.

 

                        “Want me to try?”

 

~o~

 

            For the nth time, the damned piece of fabric is giving Miong a headache. Oryang is not here and Andoy will just whack him if he asks the older man. He tries again, looping the material around his wrist to his hand and knuckles, but something just goes wrong in the middle of everything. He lets out a barrage of cuss words.

 

                        “Want me to try?” He finds Hilaria by the door, smiling.

                        “Hilaria?”

                        “My dad dropped by to see Mr. Bonifacio. I went along with him. Someone told me you’d be here so I decided to pay a visit.” He nods.

                        “Any problem with this?” she asks, raising the end of the fabric. Miong grunts.

                        “Let me try. Do you have a specific way of doing it?” a shrug

                        “Huh?”

                        “I don’t know.”

                        “I… I haven’t…” a pause

                        “someone’s been doing it for me.”

                        ‘Pole’ Hilaria nods.

                        “Well, that’s a problem. Have you tried studying it?” Miong scratches his head.

 

            He watches as Hilaria unwraps his hands, his eyes following the fabric as it becomes loose and come off, his eyes entranced by the repetitive action. In all honesty, he’s never paid much attention to unwrapping his hands. He remembers just undoing it and yanking it loose. But now, it seems that it has the same effect as when Pole wraps his hands. Each time the fabric loosens, he feels his skin become lighter, relieved of the stress. He sees the cloth tear away from him, like some sort of unwanted skin, or a scab from a wound. He feels unburdened, as if a part of his worries are being taken away from him.

 

                        “I’m not really sure if I’m doing this right.” She laughs as she begins to wrap his hand.

 

            Miong does not answer. Instead, for some unknown reason, he watches her, first her hands: notes how she would stop and consider her next action, angling the cloth over his hand before actually wrapping it. He notices how she seems to be lightly, yet firmly holding his hand. Then he looks at her, at how she concentrates in her task, brows knitting when in doubt as to how to place the next layer of fabric. Watches her mouth move silently at times.

 

                        “You know I’m quite used to wrapping people up at the hospital. No need to look at me like that.” She snickers. Miong realizes he’d been staring too long and looks away, a light flush on his cheeks.

                        “There. Let’s hope it will hold throughout your training.” She heaves a deep breath, gently releasing Miong’s hand.

                        “By the way, the gym’s still closed right? Why are you training here?”

                        ‘Because apparently someone from the main gym snitched and now Selong knows about me.’ He thought but just shrugged in response.

                        “More peaceful.”

 

~o~

            Hilaria lets Miong train as she goes around the gym, peeking into corners, poking at random stuff. She sneaks back to the room where her father and Andoy are discussing things, but it would seem that they still aren’t finished talking. Heaving a sigh, she goes back, settles on the steps leading to the ring and watches Miong train.

 

                        “He doesn’t look like it, but he’s actually good.” She jumps as Macs suddenly pops up beside her.

                        “So I’ve heard.”

                        “Oi, dickhead!” Macs calls out to Miong.

                        “What’s with the lousy start? We have to impress the young lady over here!” Miong did not stop, but he momentarily cocked his head a bit to the side while Macs was speaking.

                        “You have a fight next week, too…”

                        “Shut up, horse face.” Miong yells back. Hilaria laughs.

                        “Dickhead and horse face?” she looks at Macs who shrugs.

                        “By the way, what fight?”

 

~o~

 

                        “Uncle? There’s someone here to see you!” Goyong calls from downstairs.

 

            Selong stops typing while Pole pushes adjusts his reading glasses. The loves look at each other from behind their desks before Selong gets up from his seat.

 

                        “I’ll get it, love.” He says, before rushing out the door.

            Pole goes back to reading until he hears a couple of knocks from the door. He looks up in time as Selong enters, followed by Hilaria and her father.

 

                        “Dr. Del Rosario and ‘yang are here.”

                        “Good afternoon.” He smiles.

                        “Love, will you excuse us for a while? I have to talk with the doctor. We’ll be having some snacks later. Care to join us then?”

                        “Of course.”

                        “’yang, you can stay here with Pole if you want. Or else, just go around the house.”

                        “I’ll stay here, thanks.”

                        “I thought you’re off from work. What’s with all these?” Hilaria gestures at Pole’s desk. Pole replies with a smile, making Hilaria roll her eyes.

                        “Your desks are facing each other…” she notes, pointing at the desks. Pole laughs.

 

 

            The sparsely furnished study room has a curtained floor to ceiling windows at the far end, a tall bookcase stands y the right wall, right behind a narra desk with an old fashioned lamp, a plastic in and out tray, a laptop, and a brass pen holder. On the other side is a modern style desk with a desktop computer and a stack of paper. A tall lamp stands beside the desk, as well as a rack with newspapers and magazines all haphazardly put together.

 

                        “It was Selong’s idea.” Pole says, with fondness in his voice.

                        “Doesn’t it feel weird? Being able to see what the other one’s doing?” Pole shakes his head.

                        “Actually, with our workload, it seems, a bit…” a pause.

                        “…comforting. He’s far enough to give me space, but at the same time, near enough to keep my sanity.”

                        “You two are so like an old married couple.” Hilaria laughs.

                        “Hey, what’s this?” she stoops down to pick up a piece of crumpled paper on the floor.

                        “Oh, that, it’s nothing. We use it to get each other’s attention if one of us is to engrossed with his work and the other wants to talk.”

                        “You… you hurl crumpled paper at each other?” Pole laughs sheepishly.

                        “That is so grade school Pole. But cute.” She tosses the ball up in the air and catches it wile Pole watch.

                        “Miong…” Pole blurts out. Hilaria turns to him, letting the ball of paper fall to the floor. Pole smiles and shakes his head. Hilaria looks at the door before picking up the crumpled paper.

                        “I saw him earlier. He was in the gym, practising. Turns out he has a match next Sunday.” She reports nonchalantly, playing with the paper once again. Silence.

                        “You’ll be off on your vacation then, right?” a nod.

                        “Macs said it will be Miong’s first proper boxing match after you know…”

                        “Do you think he’ll win?” the two of them lock gazes.

                        “He will.”

~o~

                        “So, what happened?” Pole asks after Hilaria and her father had left. Selongs lets out a sigh.

                        “No good. Andoy’s not changing his mind.”

                        “You know what that means, don’t you?” Selong groans in reply.

 

            Pole wheels himself towards his partner and holds the others hand. Selong smiles, squeezes his hand and kneels down.

 

                        “It’s going to be okay, love.” Pole whispers, giving his partner a kiss on the forehead. Selomg smile.

                        “Thank you.”

 

            The two return to their respective desks and work. Pole watches his partner cram in front of the computer, frantically typing words for his column on the weekly sports magazine. He chuckles. He readies himself to finish his reports when he noticed the crumpled piece of paper beside his laptop. He had thought Hilaria threw it away. He picks it up and examines it.

 

                        “…he has a match next Sunday” Hilaria’s words seem to echo from the piece of paper.

 

            Pole eyes the paper once again, remembering Hilaria’s words. Next week will be Miong’s returnt othe ring after five years and he’d be lying if he says he’s not concerned. Actually, concerned is an understatement, he’s… Then he realized that he won’t be there that day. He will be off to another country with his partner…

 

                        “Selong…” he says, barely audible.

                        “Selong.” He repeats, louder this time. He repeats this for a third time, his voice hinting a tone of irritation.

                        “Love?”

                        “S-sorry, I thought you weren’t listening.” He mellows down, quite surprised at the sudden rise in his temper. Selong shakes his head, smiling.

                        “I was waiting for you to throw that.” The older man grins at him. Pole shakes his head and pushes the crumpled paper into a drawer. Seeing it reminds him of Miong’s upcoming fight, his flight, and…

                        “Love? Is anything wrong?” Pole clenches his fist. He opens his mouth to speak.

~o~

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically the same as the one posted sa Tumblr. I didn't have enough ideas to change it, kaya as is na lang :) There's a back story sa fall out ni Miong and Pole. 
> 
> Uhm, yun lang, I hope you didn't get too traumatized with this XD


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